Dear prayer partners,
Greetings in the name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
Children consultation
Michael Collins coordinated a consultation for children ministry on 16 and 17 March. God enabled me to attend one day and also share about CTN and other ministries. The resource person was Sylvia Foth whom I met in Columbai in the month of November.
Junior Ministers Study Programme
The Church of South India, Madras Diocese conducts a study programme for younger pastors in the diocese once in three months for three days. Rev. Samuel Prabhakar invited me to teach on the subject: Leaders are Readers and Writers on 17 March. Around 50 plus pastors were present.
Bethel Mission
I was able to visit Bethel Mission Dr. N. Durairaj and his ministry. They have 13 local churches in the city of Chennai. BTCP training in Tamil for pastors is planned through this ministry.
Philadelphia Church Fellowship
God enabled me to speak in the Philadelphia Church Fellowship on 21 March. Rev. Jesudawson Charles invited me to speak. There are many dynamic young people in this church. Some have come forward to write blogs and articles.
Blessing Youth Mission
Blessing Youth Mission conducts leadership training for their senior missionaries at their mission fields. Joseph Ramanathan and I taught on various subjects like: Personality Analysis, Inter-Personal Relationship, World View, Inner Transformation, Leadership, Levels of Leadership, Purpose of Leadership, 4 Steps of Discipleship, etc. on 24-27 March.
Missionary Upholders’ Trust
Missionary Upholders’ Trust is planning to bring out a book on Member Care. The list of topics for the book and the potential writers was discussed. The book would be published early next year.
Hosanna
Hosanna is doing well by the grace of God. She is busy with her studies. Dr. Hema who was attending the prayer fellowship in Vitebsk, Belarus share her testimony in New Calvary Church on 28 March. She is married to Dr. Aravind who also used to attend the fellowship. Praise God for all these fruits.
Thambos
Thambos completed his 12 grade exams and is waiting for his results that would be published in Mid May. Then he has to find a good institution to do his college studies. It is important time for him in his life. Please pray that God may guide him to take right decision.
Rosy
Rosy had a severe headache on 17 March, similar to the one she had in October last year. Doctors term it as non-specific headache that happens without apparent reason. Only symptomatic treatment was provided and she is alright.
Vision: 1000 Quality leaders and 1000 strategic churches
Partners
We need committed leaders to be our partners in the ministry. We need volunteers to help us in our research, managing website and helping in preparation of study materials. Volunteers need not be located in Chennai, they could be from any part of the world. We also need donors and supporters for sustain our family and ministry.
You can send your contribution to any one of the accounts: J.N. Manokaran, HDFC Bank, Madipakkam Branch, Chennai: Account No: 011110000 30570 Or Rosia Selvi, ICICI Bank, Kilpauk, Chennai: Account Number: 027801 500223 Or mail cheque in the name of one of the names to: J.N. Manokaran, 6B1 Doshi Flats, 59 Chetty street, Ayanavaram, Chennai 600023, India
Please visit the website: http://glocalleadersnetwork.com/main/
Yours in His Vineyard,
J.N. Manokaran
Upcoming schedule
2010
12-16 April Training, Chennai
14 April Local Church Leaders training, New Christian Assembly
19-23 April Seattle, TOPIC Global Leadership Team meet
24-25 April Christ Church of India, San Jose
27 April Meeting with Entrust, Colorado Springs
29-30 April New York Divinity School
5-7 May Colombo, GLOMOS
13-15 May Kolkata, GLOMOS
17-19 May Kalimpong, GLOMOS
20 May Writers’ Vision Workshop, Siliguri
24-28 May Summer School of Leadership, Chennai
27-29 May CFCC, Bangalore, Contemporary Missions
June Living Word Missionary Church, London and Germany
12 June Bethel Endtime Church,
5-10 July School of Leadership, Oddanchatram
9-11 July Cochin – Immanuel Highland Fellowship
16-22 Aug Chandrapur
27 Sept – 1 Oct Power2Change, Leadership course, Vancouver
14-16 October IBL, 60th anniversary, National Conference
13-16 October Global Network of Christian Indian Leaders International Conference, Christian Centre in Valley Stream, New York
25-28 October Contemporary institute of Christianity, Bangalore
29-30 October Chennai Insights, Institute of Journalism
4-8 November National – City leaders training, Chennai/Hyderabad
12 Nov Mission India Board meeting, Nagpur
19-21 Nov MUT Book consultation, Oddanchatram
29 Nov-
5 December Centre For Contemporary Christianity, M.Th. Classes
Projecting Parents’ Unfulfilled Ambitions on Children
J.N. Manokaran
They are a lovely family with two teen age children. Regarding spiritual life, they are exemplary in the local church. Children are very active in school that included sports and music. Mother is a nurse, working in one of the best hospitals in the city. Father is a bank officer. Both the parents aspired to become doctors but could not for various reasons. Hence, they wanted their children to become medical doctors. From childhood they were encouraged to consider only medical field as career option. The elder daughter was doing well in her studies. She was compelled to choose subjects that would qualify her to go to medical school. In her higher secondary board exam she deliberately got less marks in Biology so that she will not go to medical college. When the exam results came, the parents were shocked. The girl simply said, “I deliberately scored less marks in Biology as I did not want to go to Medical College. Why you want to thrust your desire on me?” The shattered parents saw their dream collapse like pack of cards. As parents they saw their life ambition burst like bubble and their daughter was at cross-roads not knowing what next step she should take.
There are many parents like this couple who would like to decide on behalf of their children. They like to choose their careers, life-partners…etc, without understanding their aspirations, desires and interests.
Herodias marries Herod
Herodias, the daughter of Aristobulus and Bernice, was first married to her uncle, her father's half-brother, Philip (Mark 6:17). While living in Rome, they had a daughter named Salome. Herod Antipas visited Rome and stayed with Philip and Herodias. Later Herodias left Philip (first husband) and married Herod Antipas who left his first wife Aretas.
John the Baptist condemns
John the Baptist condemned this marriage as adultery, as both the spouses were alive. Herodias had a teenage daughter. Though the episode was in the realm of secular State or political manipulation, John the Baptist was fearless and set the moral standards high. If he keeps silent, the model set by Herod and Herodias could become norm of the whole country. It was essential to establish moral standards in public realm.
Herodias seeks revenge
Herodias was upset with John the Baptist and wanted to kill him. How can a prophet rebuke her in public? She wanted to show her power and authority by harming him. The prophet was arrested as pestered by Herodias. Herod treated John the Baptist as prophet and did not harm him. She was waiting for right opportunity to get even with John.
Daughter becomes a tool
“Finally the opportune time came. On his birthday Herod gave a banquet for his high officials and military commanders and the leading men of Galilee. When the daughter of Herodias came in and danced, she pleased Herod and his dinner guests. The king said to the girl, "Ask me for anything you want, and I'll give it to you." And he promised her with an oath, "Whatever you ask I will give you, up to half my kingdom."
Salome believed and trusted her mother that she would advise her rightly. Herodias did not think about the future or welfare of her daughter, but used that opportunity to fulfill here desire for revenge. “She went out and said to her mother, "What shall I ask for?" "The head of John the Baptist," she answered. At once the girl hurried in to the king with the request: "I want you to give me right now the head of John the Baptist on a platter." (Mark 6: 24-25)
Clash of priorities
Salome becomes tool in Herodias scheme of taking revenge and preserving her public reputation. Herodias did not consider her daughter Salome future as the priority. For her the unfulfilled desire of taking revenge against John the Baptist was her priority.
So, she did not ask Salome of her desire or ambition. In a way mother derailed the future of her own daughter.
Parenting for the sake of children
Herodias was a miserable mother who was blinded by her selfishness. Parenting is to nurture, develop, and guide children in the right way. Parenting is helping them to discover the will of God in their lives. Herodias is a bad example as parent.
1. Do not transfer: Parents should not transfer their failures, frustrations, and bitterness over to their children. David commissions his son Solomon as king and gives him charge of the nation. Unfortunately, along with several positive inputs, he gives few negative agenda for him to accomplish. “Now you yourself know what Joab son of Zeruiah did to me—what he did to the two commanders of Israel's armies, Abner son of Ner and Amasa son of Jether. He killed them, shedding their blood in peacetime as if in battle, and with that blood stained the belt around his waist and the sandals on his feet. Deal with him according to your wisdom, but do not let his gray head go down to the grave in peace.” (I Kings 2: 5, 6) Transferring the task of building the temple was a great visionary act. But, asking his son to punish the commanders for unrighteous acts.
"And remember, you have with you Shimei son of Gera, the Benjamite from Bahurim, who called down bitter curses on me the day I went to Mahanaim. When he came down to meet me at the Jordan, I swore to him by the Lord : 'I will not put you to death by the sword.' But now, do not consider him innocent. You are a man of wisdom; you will know what to do to him. Bring his gray head down to the grave in blood." (I Kings 2: 8 &9) David pretended in front of people as magnanimous statesman, but in private he asks Solomon, not to treat him as innocent.
Like David, parents transfer their failures or frustration or bitterness or attitude of revenge to their children.
2. Do not expect: Parents should not expect the children to fulfill their broken dreams. Having dreams that are righteous, God honouring and beneficial to society, in life is good. Encouraging them to pursue such noble dreams is good. However, it is not right for parents to expect something from them, for which they are not ‘called’ to. A wonderful doctor couple had great reputation and practice. They built a huge hospital obtaining loan from a bank. They expected their two sons to follow them and run the hospital. Both the sons had different ideas. One became a management professional while the other became a chemical engineer. The doctor parents wanted their son to marry doctors, so that they could run the hospital. But, both of them chose spouses that were not doctors. Ultimately, the ‘pet’ project of the doctor couple – the hospital building was sold out.
Like the case study given in the introduction, parent’s broken or unaccomplished dream should not become expectation from children. Instead allow them to choose career according to their aptitude, attitude and ‘calling’.
3. Do not impose: Parents should not violate the freedom of choice by imposing their decisions on them. Children generally develop their own dreams and ambitions. Sometimes, parents have other ideas. There was a young man who was much interested in studying law, serve people and then enter into politics. But, his father who had good income and could afford the college education compelled to study engineering. Without interest he studied, worked but not with enthusiasm. Later, he changed his career.
Instead of helping children to find their career, or profession parents try to impose their ideas. There may be financial constraints or lack of opportunities, then parents could advise children to choose alternative careers.
When children are saddled with parents decisions, they do not fine job satisfaction. Just for sake of getting jobs, many girls are sent becoming nurses. As nurses, these women are misfit. Many of them ill treat the patients as they did not have any inclination to serve the sick, poor and needy.
4. Do not make children dependents: One of the important goals of parenting is to make children independent. They should be trained and equipped to face the world, even when parents are not present with them. In the globalized world, they may have to travel to other countries for education or employment. They should be trained spiritually, intellectually, mentally, emotionally, socially and in self management and finance management. Life skills to survive in the world should be taught even in their childhood. Being over protective of children will make them dependents on parents and misfit in the world.
Challenge
Parenting is a real challenge in the modern world. Children are exposed to so much information. Helping them to evaluate information, choosing right information and making right decisions is duty and responsibility of each and every parent.
